Thursday, April 20, 2006

i love my sundays.

wow. so great to be home again =) i know i’m lucky enough to get to go back like..once every fortnight (u guys abroad, dun hate me =D) but still..its juz so hard to be away from the comfort of home. sounds lame huh. hey, it's the only place where i get to hide out. where i get to chill. where i get my space. where i get to do things i wanna do, my way. where i get to blast out my stereo system =P now dats the greatest part! anywhere else juz.. isn't the same.

i knoe dere’s a lot been goin on lately. i may not be having the best time of my life at the mo. but hey, noone aint gonna bring me down. its been such a bumpy ride for the past months. yea, i’ve been whining and complaining endlessly. you heard me. i juz need to let it out before it had a chance to eat me alive you knoe. thanks for listening me out guys! it means so much! you knoe who you are! muahh muahh! lots of hugz!!

i have always turn to music big time when i'm upset. currently i'm hooked to a band call 'weezer' and also a hongkong artiste dat goes with the name 'jat tin'. well, in english, i guess its justin =P also, movies! i mostly go for chic lit and comedies tho. needed to watch some no-brainer show. juz to get my mind off from stuffz..hehe even neglected my laptop for the past couple of weeks. juz din have the heart for it. never felt tis way before. gosh, i'm so pathetic. laptop was my life! well, besides my poddy and my faithful hairdryer of cos. sigh.

took monday off. needed to pick up my passport and to settle some of my ptptn loan. they’re threatening to sue me already. can you believe dat? and i juz got my first warning letter. how ridiculous. so what if you owe us money? wat do you do about it? throw the case around like nobody’s business? cuz dat’s wat you’ve been doin! a bunch of cowards!

arghh. i’m at home. i shud chill. aint gonna let things like dat spoiling my good mood. i’m juz gonna tidy my room. enjoy my book. organize my itunes. watch movies. channel surfing on astro. feed the fish. drive to my grandparents. ahh..haven! but why izit dat the time seems to be clocking so dem fast? it is 7pm already? that means dad is sending me back to kl in about 2 hrs. wat a bummer =(

i wanna stay here. dun feel like goin bck to kl juz yet =( bentong really is beautiful you knoe. surrounded by hills all around. great environment. it’s sorta located in the valley or sumthing. hey, i aint the geologist here okays. so i cant tell you i'm sure =P we’ve got waterfalls and hot springs. and the best home-made ice-cream around! i dunno how to describe tis place to you. i was trying to dig up some photos. but all i’ve got was some posters i used to do for my assignments back then.

hell yeah, i remember it was a pretty fun journey shooting tos photographs. me and my then partner, JJ, we were acting like we were detectives, following the lorries transporting the vegetables back to the farm. but somehow we ended up trailing behind the truck for almost 30mins! then we realized we were basically out of town already! but when we got dere, we were awed! the farm was huGe and the location was almost perfect! our pictures turn out to be great. so it was really sumthing! and we had lotsa fun! we went exploring many parts of the town. some i have not even set foot before! and we even get to see how beancurd was made. it was so interesting!

so here are the photos! tell me bentong is beautiful =)

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

why me.

do i look weak to you?

i'm really tired. why are you making it so tough? will you please stop?

why am i still putting up with all tis shit? why am i still holding on? why am i still putting up a smile? why do i still believe dat i can deal with all tis?

i hope you're happy. cuz i'm not. its so hard. i'm so tired.

i wanna smile again like i used to.

do me a favor. please stop being so difficult. look around. you aint alone in tis world.

Monday, April 03, 2006

too cool for school.

i have been tagged (again!) shitz.

luckily this is easy peasy =P but it took me a while to dig out the old photos la. sumore dem shy to put *smiling embarrassingly* anyways, here goes.

How many schools did I go to?
err…how about a lot? my dad used to transfer a lot. so we had to follow him around. like..duh? =P i have to say it was pretty tough for a kid. and you know how first day of school always sucks? you have no idea how your new friends are gonna be like. and when you look around, everybody seems to know everybody except you. but i survived all these la of course. i guess years of moving around so much have taught me to mix around with people pretty more easily. you can now dump me anywhere in the world, like namibia or something and i can tell you 2 days after that i’m settling in well. okays, i’m juz joking about that. please don’t send me to africa =D

1. catholic kindergarten (bentong, pahang)
met my best friends here =) i was enrolled for two years when i was five. and no, it’s not that really strict kind of catholic school. i was not taught by catholic sisters. i remember father joseph chang, the principal, was one of the friendliest and most down-to-earth people i’ve ever met. everyday, i’d ride on this yellow school bus to school. and i had to wear this sailormoon looking uniform with a detachable blue tie. the school provided lunch, which i remembered was really really yucky. they really think us kids have no tastebuds huh? =P so i always threw it away when the teacher was not looking and ran out to buy junk food. i hated doing homework for my chinese class. i used to cry every time i have to write two pages long of chinese characters. my mom couldn’t figure out why it was so difficult for me (she teaches in a chinese primary school). every time i hand in my workbook, the pages would be all crumpled with tears and full of tiny miserable holes *looks upward*

2. s.r.k. sg. marong (bentong, pahang)
studied from standard one until standard three. i walked to school everyday cuz i was just staying in the same neighborhood. on rainy days, my grandpa would wait for me at the school gate. this was where i met my first crush *goes red*

3. s.k. methodist (tg. malim, perak)
continued standard four until standard six. really tough years. school was really competitive. all of us were trying to beat each other’s grades. there were many many sons and daughters of lecturers (my dad’s fellow colleagues) in my class and all of us were trying to outdo one another. showing off basically. i knew what stress was then. i was the school prefect and also the librarian. didn’t quite know how that happened. i could say the entire ‘doa selamat’ (malay prayers. i have been listening to it for the past six years in primary school. i often say it along with my malay best friends. just for fun =P

4. s.r.k. sg. marong (bentong, pahang)
transferred back for two weeks after upsr.

5. tappan middle school (ann arbor, michigan)
studied grade seven to grade eight. extremely tough. totally different environment. i missed the school bus home on my first day of school. and i tend to get lost in my own neighborhood in the first week of staying there. all of the apartments look the same! it was super hard to follow the classes at first. everything was so different. some people just weren’t too nice. the only classes i enjoyed were art (i didn’t need to talk much) and esl (i met friends from all over the world). my best friends in school were annabelle (taiwanese, we still write) and yuko (japanese). and after school, i’d hung out with the same group of friends; adeline (fellow msian), mengni (from shenzhen, china), powell (polish) and dmitry (russian) we were staying in the same neighborhood and we’d play basketball together. we’d also go biking, rollerblading, snow fighting and drenched each other with super soakers in the hot summer. hell yeah, dat was fun!

6. s.m.k ketari (bentong, pahang)
back for form two to form three. form two was fun. a lot of studying to catch up on but was really happy to see some familiar faces of my primary school friends. met some of the most amazing people here. fit in with my classmates pretty easily. a lot of flirting around at this age =P i was made the school prefect in form three. love the opportunity to get out earlier for lunches before everybody else. was quite active in sports and co-curriculum activities.

7. s.m sulaiman (bentong, pahang)
transferred here to study in the science stream. i was quite fond of biology. didn’t really like to memorize all the equations and concepts in physics and chemistry. but in the end, both of my physics and chemistry scores turned out better than biology. another thing i couldn’t explain in my life *shaking head*

8. multimedia university (cyberjaya, selangor)
was too happy to skip form six. already knew I wanted to be a graphic designer when i was finishing form five. so here was my chance. managed to secure a loan from ptptn (which I dread to think about it now). i knew nuts about computer then. i learned everything from scratch. thanks to my really helpful course mates. you guys rawk! i have to say university life was challengingly great! i had my freedom. i became more independent. assignments were fun. i get to travel for my photography class and movie shooting. it was exhausting but it was also pretty exciting! staying in the university dorm and renting an apartment with fellow friends were really coolz. i just love every bit of it =) i’d do it again!

was i the studious nerd, or the last minute hero?
a bit of both i would say. too bad i wasn’t born a genius. if i have a feeling i might gonna screw it up, i’ll start earlier. but if i have confident in it, i’ll procrastinate and get it done last seconds.

was i the class ‘taiko’ (big bully) or the teacher’s pet?
more of a teacher’s pet. i have never been rude to any of my teachers. cuz most of them are a friend of my parents’. come on, teachers know teachers. they have this small circle of connection ring. so i can’t screw up or the entire teacher community would know what i did. bentong is a really small town where everybody knows everybody.

what was the biggest rule i broke in school?
i let my friends copied my answers for an english paper during a final-year exam. everybody was copying everybody. the entire class was punished for this whole cheating scam. my dad has to meet my form teacher to pick up my report card. he was furious. i was deeply embarrassed.

three subjects i enjoyed.
art – the only class i would run to get there. i get to mess with paint all i want, make pots and figurines out of clay, carve and create all the weird stuffz i have always imagined! it’s all about play, play, play! and my favorite art teacher, Mr. McGilliard (aka Mr. McLizard) simply has the most patience with us crazy people! always try to help when we’re stuck with ideas. and send our work to competitions and exhibitions, giving us chances to expose our talent and creativity. but i have foolishly left all of my artworks in the states *cry*

tabloid – one of the most fun and exciting subject. working for the school paper! i started by learning keyboarding. and for assignments, i was given a few cut-outs from the local newspaper on topics that teenager would be interested in. i would then proceed to gathering materials to write and interview all the fellow students for stories. all the writings (like reviews on latest games, new eating places, places to hang out, gossips, who’s with who, overheard, top ten lists, etc) that met the deadline will get to be printed in the school monthly paper. it was really cool to have everyone in the school reading stuffz that you write. i also contributed drawings. too bad the class was so short.

history – i have always enjoyed reading stories. so this subject really wasn’t too hard for me. i’d read the book like i’m reading a novel. i find reading about the true events from the past is really interesting =)

three teachers that inspired me.
mr. liew – yes, my dad. he taught me math my whole life. but i always give him a hard time. sometimes, i just refused to understand when he is trying to show me how to solve problems. i was a foolish girl. thanks for showing me all the shortcuts and multiple ways of solving an equation, dad. you are a great mathematician!

mrs. chalfant – she was my esl teacher when i was at tappan. she is a brilliant and down-to-earth lady who is more than just a friend to me. we still write.

pn. hasnah – she was my form teacher for two years at s.m.k ketari and also teaches me bahasa melayu (malay language). one of the very few teachers that believed in me. encouraged me to do well in class when i was lagged behind; since i skipped an entire year of form one’s lessons. i improved my grades from D to A. she was one of the best bahasa melayu teachers i have ever met, strict yet understanding.

whoops..i guess i got too excited! tis is such a loooooonnnnng meme! =P