Wednesday, March 29, 2006

it rained today.

i live, i breathe, i make mistakes, i am just being a human being that i am.

i hate it when i make mistakes. it will bug me. until i am too tired to think about it anymore. it won’t leave me forever. i’d still regret over it. thinking that i could’ve done it differently.

a mistake is not a mistake if i could reverse it.

i have always followed my heart and stand for what i believe is right. i don't wish to hurt you. but i don’t wish to live the rest of my life thinking that i should or shouldn’t have done it either. i don't wish to spend the rest of my life feeling remorseful.

i screwed up today. wat was i thinkin'? i wish i could turn back the time.

wasn't proud of what i did. but i hope you'd try to understand why i did it.

you could hate me. but please think about what you’ve done. you can’t possibly be right all the time. we make mistakes. i won’t blame you. and i am sorry too.

i tried to help. it wasn’t an easy task. it went out of my control. it lead to a mistake. now i hope that things will get better. it will. we juz have to try harder.

i could tolerate. but i have my limits too. and i have my reasons. i could burst one day. but i'd probably decide to tolerate longer.

i try to adapt to your way to make things work. i try to position myself in your shoes. i will try my best to understand. i know i can be difficult at times too. for i am not perfect myself. please try to bear with me. we can learn from each other.

i was taught to respect people with differences. i respected you. and i pledged that you’d do the same. you could hurt me. but i won’t do the same to you. i just hope that one day, you’d respect me too.

i won’t hate you for not understanding who i am. but i will hate you for not trying to understand. i will hate you for assuming i am what i am not. i will hate you for thinking that you are far better than the rest of us. you're not perfect. i'm not perfect.

everything happens for a reason. i wish i understand what it is most of the time.

sometimes things are just not meant to be. it's just too bad.

life is indeed hard. it can be so tough at times. i wish i can just hide in my room and cry it all away. bullshit. life still needs to go on. i will learn to be tougher.

i believe God will grant me ten times happiness in return. hardships are just mere teasers in life.

i have learned to be more patience. i have learned to have more faith.

keep the smile honey. no more shitty rainy days.

Monday, March 13, 2006

here comes the redhead.

took this over lunch. look, look! ahmay got highlights as well =)

bookworm attack.

currently reading john grisham’s a painted house and jennifer weiner’s in her shoes. yes, i’ve watched the movie already and i love it! the book is a good read too. just being a lil’ slow on the john grisham’s cuz i have to pay close attention to each and every word. tis is my first john grisham book and i have very mixed feelings bout it.

sometimes, i find the book a very interesting read cuz the story was set in a very different era and community that I have never really known and understand. other times, i wish that the story wont be dragged too long or i’d seriously get bored. it tells the story of luke (love the name btw, it’s so american =D), a 7-year-old kid (bummer, why cant it be a cute young adolescent hunk? luke would sound perfect!) who stays in a farmhouse and whose family owns a huge cotton farming business. one summer, two groups of migrant workers came through the arkansas delta to work in his family’s cotton farm. and suddenly, mysteries started to unfold in luke’s world. he witnessed a brutal murder in town. he also found out dat a beautiful young woman that he secretly admires ignites in forbidden passions. soon after, a baby is born to a young girl staying close to his farmhouse and she claimed dat the father is none other than luke’s young uncle (only 19) who was away in korea fighting the war. then, someone has begun furtively painting the bare clapboards of his farmhouse in gleaming white. something the hill people (his migrant workers) like to do with their houses back home. and as young luke watches the world around him,(he seems to knoe a lot for a 7-year-old btw) he unravels secrets that could shatter lives and change his family and town forever.

maybe i’m just not used to reading books from this genre. you wouldn’t believe me when i say dat i haven’t even read dan brown’s the da vincci code yet! i thought the language was kinda hard to digest =P i hope i’ll get to it later..haha!

i am sure i wont regret this john grisham’s book. its just gonna take me longer to finish it. after all, i have two more of his titles =P

meet the redhead.

went to my stylist at snips again on saturday. i’d done it again. i mean, i dyed my hair again. this time i took charge and told him the color dat i want. i’m a redhead now. well, a semi purplish redhead to be exact. i dyed the bottom half back to black. i like this new color a lotz! (i think it makes me look fairer, errr..i hope i’m saying this in vain again =P) compared to my previous color. blonde streaks. no good. at least, not for me anyways. i didn’t think it suited me at all. but i didn’t say anything to my stylist after i first saw the color cuz i gave him the green light to do any color he wanted. maybe he really thought dat it would look good on me. though i dunno what gave him the idea! it was so wrong! so i just walked out of the shop not feeling very happy, but told myself i’d get used to the color. and being polite of me, i smiled and thanked him after. he must have thought i absolutely love it! dammit.

if only it’s not so expensive to recolor, i would have fixed my hair a long time ago. i’m so proud of myself for holding on for at least a year! enough finger pointing and humiliation already! =( but surprisingly, there were some frens dat I hardly see or strangers dat I barely known, complimented on my blonde streaks and haircut. well, i dun really knoe wat was in their mind, but honestly i didn’t like it most of the time. so i tried to style it the best i could.

well, anyone of you would have just gone to another stylist if you’ve had any bad experiences. but i dun like to change my stylist, mainly because i dun think that any stylists can really understand what i want. yes, i am a very difficult customer. i admit. and i could be very self-conscious for a few days every time after my new hairdo. doesn’t everybody? so to stop myself from feeling worse, i’d rather stick to the same stylist. i think this is the 5th/6th time he’s doing my hair already. before this, i used to go to peek-a-boo or jantzen. hey, don’t look at me like that. i used to cut my hair for rm5, rm8 or rm12 too when i was younger. i just started going to real salons when i was in my final year of university. i didn’t know how it started. it just did. and i have not stopped ever since..hehe

this time around, it cost me a whopping rm220! yes, you heard me right.
cut = rm60 (professional stylist)
color = rm160 (whole head, for highlight is rm120)
and i shall officially eat bread/oats for breakfast, lunch and dinner for the rest of the month. 2 ½ weeks more to go ritez? God, help me. well at least, i wont die on malnutrition. just lack of everything else except carbohydrates. shit, i’m gonna put on lotsa weight again arent i? geez, great! *crying inside*

smiling happily for the new hair color, but desperately styling my hair every minute of the day cuz I think it’s a lil’ bit too short. i heard washing it many many more times can make it grow faster right?

oh yea, been wondering why i din include any pics of my new hairdo? haha..its a sunday! it’s a lazy lazy sunday! so i din even bother to style it today. didn’t go anywhere. spent way too much already yesterday! (i also bought 2 coral bracelets from island shop, 4 pairs of color socks from soxworld and a t-shirt for my bro)

haha..i’ll show you a redhead soon. i promise =)

Friday, March 10, 2006


all these were taken last month during chinese new year.

i will dig up more photos of the rest of yOU! i promise no dodgy ones =D *evil smile*

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

3 cocktails, 2 beers

it was last friday, we were throwing magda a lil' farewell party (she is now stationed in our hongkong office). she bought us a round of drinks and the rest was covered by the company. it was a great chillout nitez! =D cafe flam serves pretty good pizzas! but i wonder why we are always the first ppl on the dancefloor? tell me. was it us way too gutsy? or them way too shy? wats wrong wif these ppl? its a club!

some really interesting stuffz happened dat nitez =P

we had a cheeky picture-taking session with daring outdos. magda had all sorts of crazy ideas. wet ones included =D

2 fellas ordered milkshakes. miLKshAKES!! in a cLuB!! kill me.

k got picked up by a guy. caught 'em exchanging namecards. and chatted for a reaaaallly long while. and even hugz big time! (we've got evidence! *wink*) GuLP. wat's goin on??

k was so drunk. he cudn't even find the door handle. and when he finally did, he blardy stared at it. okAY! take all the time you need!

no prize for guessing who were the only one who had a major hangover the next day =)

so yea, it was a great nitez..haha

Thursday, March 02, 2006

take me away.

it's been a while since i update me blog yea? dunno why..nowadays..sumhow..i've lost my insanity passion for crapping..and my bonkers personality.. sad isn't it? i can bore anyone to tears now.

sigh. kinda tired of my boring routine of waking up in the wee hours (6am!) > travel to work (1.5 hrs!) > work forever and ever (9am-7pm; the earliest i can get off) > travel back home (2 hrs; have to wait for stupid freakin' putra lrt feeder bus) > reach home & have dinner (or not) > watch astro wah lai toi (or finishing up some projs i brought home) > sleep (at 11pm/12am; if i get lucky, or 3am/4am/5am; if i have work to finish up)

i think i need a serious break. but i can't afford to go to prague or new zealand or virgin islands just yet. not even if i reaaallly wanted to. i can only go as far as a lil' bit up north. is cambodia really been infected by bird flu at the mo?? or phuket??

i'm longing to go away. i just need to get away. i need my inspiration back.

i need to hit the beach!! arghh!!

i see phuket already =)

i wanna jump in and make fren with starfish..

i wanna shop for artsy fartsy stuffz that i wont ever need here..

and i wanna explore angkor wat inside out *grins

i've dreamt of this perfect shot =) mmmm.. sunrise at angkor =)

*wakes up* shitz, i am still here in subang =(